Welcome to Philadelphia. Or at least my version of Philadelphia. You are now tuned into Gorilla Upskirts and Huggie Butterworth.
What's not to get?

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Can't teach an old bird new tricks

It is hard to believe that a year has passed since I posted my first "Dream Team" flyer.  Sadly time has not been kind to us. Our beloved Philadelphia Eagles are even worse off than they were last year.   We at Gorilla Upskirts believe it is time to say goodbye to our dear friend Andy.

A once exciting coach with new plays has blossomed into a stubborn stache with a playbook that a Pops Warner coach could guess.  One could argue that over the last few years and possibly even longer; the Eagles did not win because of Andy Reid's coaching, they won in spite of his coaching.  

All I want for Christmas is (not) you!

Happy Holidays 

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Not only am I the president, I'm a member too.

What do Black Dynamite, Rasputin, and Wilt Chamberlain have in common?  They are all alumni of Huggie's self help course "The 7 habits of highly fuckable people".  Our easy program is guaranteed to work 100% of the time 92.4% of every time.   Call today for a free 24 hour trial.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

With Love, Philadelphia

Philly has a lot to offer.  Tourists seem to get that.  One of the reasons is our extremely successful With Love campaign.  It is clever and funny; but it is not directed towards that special group of people called Philadelphians.

I love this city.  My artwork would not be the same if I lived anywhere else.   While I appreciate the campaigning to attract others here, I think we need to spend some time getting Philadelphians to respect and love the city they call home too.  People don't call it Filthadelphia for no reason.  I am continually shocked at  the sheer number of residents who trash the streets and see their litter as somebody else's problem.  Our city is rated in the top 5 dirtiest cities in America every year.  And it all starts with one kid throwing one bag of chips on the ground and nobody telling him that his actions are wrong.

Last night, Huggie took a stand:

Now I know what you are thinking, "Did Huggie attach that with binder clips?".  Of course not. That was just to keep it in place while the industrial grade adhesive dried.  But this story has a sad ending. This sign didn't even last 24 hours before somebody managed to rip it down.  Do you know what they did with it?  They left it on the fucking ground on top of a pile of cinderblocks, bags and other trash that have been cultivating on the spot.  

Somebody obviously did not get the message.  Or maybe they did and left it is a message for me.  Either way I learned two things from this:

1.  I am not giving up.  More of these signs will be flooding the neighborhood.
2.  I need some advice for a better adhesive. 

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Origin of GorillaUpskirts

Here is the very first bandit sign I every created:

Obviously the original unaltered sign was a honest to God attempt to drum up skydiving business for some hungry young company.  On numerous occasions I passed by these signs and found myself dumbfounded at who this advertising campaign was directed towards.  By nature bandit signs are found in the less affluent or working class neighborhoods of cities.  This often means these signs are hung on abandoned buildings or nailed high up on telephone poles outside corner stores.  This particular sign was sandwiched on a telephone pole between a Papi store and a burned out shell.  Litter was rampant on the street.  Yet amidst this carnage of decay was a proud testament to the determination of advertisers.

"Skydive" the sign read, and listed all the appropriate contact information.   I have gone skydiving.  It was an amazing experience and one I spent some time researching before I went.  Friends were asked for advice, websites were combed for reviews, and numbers were called for estimates. But nowhere in the backdrop of my inspiration was a pile of abandoned tires, a boarded up rowhome and bandit sign proclaiming the virtues of free falling out of an airplane.  I just couldn't fathom who would trust their life to a company that engaged in this predatory advertising.

So I did what any red blooded American with a pitbull and an iPhone would do.  I started collecting these signs, changing the messages and putting them back up for the internets to enjoy.  I figured if advertising for skydiving is apparently acceptable behavior, what else will people accept as normal?  The answer is not yet defined.  But let it be known that Huggie has peppered the urban landscape with plenty of altered bandit signs offering "cash for gold teeth" in attempt to find out.

Side Bar:

Remember when I asked " What else we people accept as normal?"  Remember when I thought a burned out building was a weird place to advertise.  I take it all back.  This picture below is not a Gorilla Upskirts production. I actually found this while exploring Mount Moriah Cemetery this weekend.  I repeat, this is real.  Not a joke.  Somebody actually placed this bandit sign in an abandoned graveyard. And that wasn't the only one I found.  An advertisement for a daycare was holding down  the fort as well.  

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Monday, October 1, 2012

Huggies Simplex 1

Don't be fooled by imitators.  Huggie Herpes Super Store is the only one stop shop for the baddest herpes. Specializing in hard to find purebred and desirable designer brand herpes.  Need a Gucci sore? We got it! Thinking small yet irritating is a better fit for you? Try our popular Teacup herpes.

Visit us once for a lifetime of memories.  Located in Upper Darby, PA right after 69th St.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Monday, September 3, 2012

Zonkeys need not apply

Is your horse eating you out of house and home?  Tired of having the cops called to your house because your unicorn mauled the neighbors kids again?  Sick of stepping in rainbow poop on the carpet?

There comes a time when you have might have to admit that horse and unicorn care was more than you bargained for.  Those cute little foals and unicoals grow up to be quite a handful.  We at Huggie Horse Adventures offer market rate prices for all horses and unicorns.  ANY CONDITION!  Rest peacefully knowing your beloved pet is in good hands with us.  Just don't try and pawn off any Zonkeys on us.  They are devils on 4 legs.  No Zonkeys.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Doctor Huggie's Snip and Stitch

Specializing in innie to outie and outie to innies.  

Satisfaction guaranteed or the next one is free.  Senior discounts available. 

Ask about our happy hour specials.  

On a budget?  Inquire about our layaway special. 

Coming soon: Sex changes for pets.

Visit Doctor Huggie today for a free consultation. Eleventy-Seven W. Baltimore Ave.  Phila PA.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Disillusioned In Three Dimensions

Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost

Seriously dudes.  I need to watch Captain Eo!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Hungry Hungry Hipsters

Mobile Hipsters.  We bring the new to you.

Had a couple cancelations the night of your party?  Spice up the guest list with Mobile Hipsters.  Need a Bar Mitzvah date?  Mobile Hipsters love Bar Mitzvahs.  None of your friends know how to ride fixies? Mobile Hipsters do.  Card night with grandma?  We are so in.   For all your hipster needs contact Mobile Hipster today.  We are hipsters.  And we are mobile.  What's not to get?  Bartering accepted.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Shameless Self Promotion

I want to thank the good people over at NPR (WHYY) and Naked Philly for thinking that I am interesting enough to fill the airwaves and internet with my smooth voice and jaunty looks.  Or maybe it was just a really slow news season?  Either way, I feel very fortunate to have been able to share my work and words with some great people.

Please enjoy the links:


Picture taken from Emma Lee/NewsWorks

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

We do do dat Voodoo

The charm of big city living sometime runs dry. Madame Huggie can help!

 Do your neighbors keep you up blasting cumbias till dawn?  Does Mrs. Ruth's "darling angel" terrorize your block with his ATV gang?  Is neighbor Scoops leaving puppy poops on your stoop?

You've tried the police and you've tried being polite.  Shoot, you might have lost your temper and gave them nuisance neighbors a piece of your mind.  But if you really want to drive away the neighbors for good, contact Madame Huggie's Hexing Service.  For the low-low price of your first born child, we guarantee a supernatural eviction and peace of mind for you and your entire family. Well…almost your entire family.

Call today, before someone calls Madame Huggie on you!

Monday, June 18, 2012

The Fracks of LIfe

Fractals in Nature?
Headed up north to God's Country for father's day weekend.  Came prepared with some gorilla upskirt goodness.  Harvesting this natural gas is guaranteed not to contaminate the water.  Can't say the same thing for the air though.

Friday, June 1, 2012


I have a lot of ideas.  Most bad.  Some good.  Every bandit sign I see think of how I can change it.  Too much of my  time is spent concocting fake lost or wanted flyers to plaster the neighborhood.  Most of the ideas never come to fruition.  They are either too weird, abstract, or offensive.

This one fits the last description.  I had serious worries that if I puts this up an army of Mommies in baby bjorns would chase me down with pitchforks and torches.  So I never posted outside. Just online for my 5 fans to enjoy. So…enjoy.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Not Loving It?

That's a lie.  I believe I could eat a 250 piece nugget all by myself.  They are like dog treats for humans.

Junk. Me Encanta.  

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The GoodFeathers

Thunder Thunder ThunderBird!

The Thunderbird was once thought to be a mythical creature contained only in the legends and stories of Native Americans.  Miraculously sightings of these majestic creatures have been reported in cities all across the Americas.  Although indigenous to North America, some claim to have spotted these giant fowls  as far away as Europe.  

Acclaimed ornithologist and big bird advocate Gaia had dedicated his life to tracking down these critters.  Too modest to ask for help in his quest to protect the Thunderbird, Gorillaupskirts has stepped in to ensure the safety of our feathered friends in Philly.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Happy Easter!

Zombie's and Easter go together like the boogie boogie and the boogity bang.  But once Easter is over, people go back to discriminating against our undead brethren.  Life is hard when your only Earthly desire is human flesh.  It appears some conscience minded zombies are trying to take the whole scary and evil part out of devouring human brains and obtaining them in a way sure to make any red blooded American proud; Cash!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Fatty Catty

Cute as a button and worth a lil sumpin'

I got a litter at home that I'm fattening up.  Gonna cash out big on these kitties.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Food for Thought

We've all seen the "We Buy Houses" signs.  Some of our blocks are lined with them.  Think they will be interested in this offer?

PS. If having a Keith Haring mural on it didn't protect this house; what will be the fate of this beautiful Gaia piece?

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Pimps don't pay taxes

Balling on a budget.  Everything is trashy on a bandit sign.

(Why's the sun gotta shine like that???)

Friday, February 10, 2012

Hoagie Jones Jr.

Houses are great and all, but you can't live off of them.  Hoagies on the other hand offer excellent life sustaining energy.  Sell your house for hoagies.

Hoagies for houses - Subs for shells - Grinders for garages - Cubanos for condos

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

City Sasquatch Sightings!

It seems nothing is safe from the disastrous effects of global warming and unchecked development.  The myth know by many names  has moved out of the woods and into the hood.   Call it the Urban Sasquatch, Ghetto Yetti,  or Downtown Yowie; recent sightings of this big city cryptid have been on the rise.  GorillaUpskirts is proud to offer "Cash for your Bigfoot pictures".

Thursday, January 26, 2012

La Virgen de Cisne

What a bargain!

Note:  The sign was taken down after 1 week.  All that trash is still there.  Figures.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Puppy Bowl VIII

When a neighborhood pup makes it big time, Huggie wants everybody to know.  Check out the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet during the Super Bowl halftime show to see Philly's finest spotted mutt in action.  Or just sleeping.  Whatever, it will be cute and a whole lot more entertaining than watching Madonna's gristly arms.

"Scouting Report: Pepper has the body of a linebacker and the stamina of a sloth"