The only place to treat your Queen to a King

Tired of the same old mattress?  Looking to upgrade or maybe just try something new out for size?  Then come on down to the South Philly Mattress XXX-Change.   Our revolutionary "take a mattress, leave a mattress" policy is a dream come true.  Visit our flagship location today and ask for Futon Phil!

Madame Huggie's Hexing Service

For a limited time Madame Huggie is back in Philadelphia and offering her hexing services to those in need. Plagued with bad neighbors and don't know how to get rid of them?  We got the juju just for you.  For the low-low price of your first born child, we guarantee a supernatural eviction and peace of mind for you and your entire family. Well…almost your entire family.

Call Madame Huggie today,  before someone calls on you

Call Meow!

Exterminators are so outdated.  Let our team of professional pest control cats work for you.  Huggie's Ex-purr-minators will rid your property of vermin and even pay you for the harvest.  Some exterminators take weeks to rid properties of mice and vermin.  Our ex-purr-minators provide instant results and will proudly prance around the house and  show you each and every critter caught.  

So what are you waiting for.  Call Meow!

Some our out satisfied mouse free customers.

From Crime Time to Prime Time

Did you have a lucrative night on the streets? Maybe you made off with a nice haul of cash, credit cards and even a couple of cell phones?  Why stop the profit from pilfering there?  Don't just dump the pocketbooks on the street after you get the goods. Gorilla Upskirts will turn turn your pocket books into pockets full of cash!

Our consultants are trained to make estimates in mere seconds and will assist you in trading in your purses and high-end handbags for cash.    Look for our pop up shops conveniently located in numerous back alleys, train tracks and subway stations through the city. And remember…..

You Steal Em..We Deal Em

Someone is in the dog house

When it comes to getting out of your dog house, trust the biggest name in canine real estate.  Burger the Dog was voted the best Realtor in 2011 and 2012 by the Animal Welfare Institute and won the prestigious Red Baron award last year.  Let Burger be your "best friend" in Real Estate.

Couch-tober Fest!

Couch-tober Fest is once again upon us.  For 31 days only we are offering cash for your sectionals, love seats, sofas, and ottomans.  Sorry, futons need not apply. 

Give me your tired springs and outdated velour,

Your soiled cushions yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your Ikea store.

Send these, the couches, tempest-tost to me,

I will deliver cash at your door.*

   

So what are you waiting for?  Come on down to Huggie's Discount Furniture Store; The Ellis Island of home decorating!

* No refunds given for valuables found between the cushions.

Shitty Hall

The Mayor may-or may not care about you!*  

   *Views expressed in this post May-or may not reflect the actual view of Huggie!  Check out my interview with Philadelphia Weekly for more info. 

Your Doomsday Bunker or Mayan?

World didn't end?
Stuck with an unsighlty Apocalypse shelter in your backyard?
Is that Doomsday bunker taking up too much space in your cramped basement?

          WE BUY UGLY BUNKERS!

Mistakes happen.  We all make them.  But don't be wrong twice.    Recoup some of the precious funds you spent prepping for a false Armageddon by selling your shelter.  For a limited time only we are buying all unused Doomsday bunkers and fallout shelters.  Act fast because just like the Mayans, this deal will not last long!

  

              

With Love, Philadelphia

Philly has a lot to offer.  Tourists seem to get that.  One of the reasons is our extremely successful With Love campaign.  It is clever and funny; but it is not directed towards that special group of people called Philadelphians.

I love this city.  My artwork would not be the same if I lived anywhere else.   While I appreciate the campaigning to attract others here, I think we need to spend some time getting Philadelphians to respect and love the city they call home too.  People don't call it Filthadelphia for no reason.  I am continually shocked at  the sheer number of residents who trash the streets and see their litter as somebody else's problem.  Our city is rated in the top 5 dirtiest cities in America every year.  And it all starts with one kid throwing one bag of chips on the ground and nobody telling him that his actions are wrong.







Last night, Huggie took a stand:

Now I know what you are thinking, "Did Huggie attach that with binder clips?".  Of course not. That was just to keep it in place while the industrial grade adhesive dried.  But this story has a sad ending. This sign didn't even last 24 hours before somebody managed to rip it down.  Do you know what they did with it?  They left it on the fucking ground on top of a pile of cinderblocks, bags and other trash that have been cultivating on the spot.  

Somebody obviously did not get the message.  Or maybe they did and left it is a message for me.  Either way I learned two things from this:

1.  I am not giving up.  More of these signs will be flooding the neighborhood.

2.  I need some advice for a better adhesive.