Appetite for Destruction

The legandary Tattooed Moms 

               

  Gobbling up the tastiest ZIP codes across the state!  

1…2…3...
House for Sale?  Too Late.  It's gone.

Shitty Hall

The Mayor may-or may not care about you!*  

   *Views expressed in this post May-or may not reflect the actual view of Huggie!  Check out my interview with Philadelphia Weekly for more info. 

Cash for me Gold

Happy Saint Patty's Day! 

Deals like this are once in a lifetime.  Anybody who has ever seen acclaimed actor Warwick Davis in any of the Leprechaun movies knows that once you steal a leprechaun's gold, misfortune is soon to follow.  In the spirit of St. Patty's Day we here at GorillaUpskirts have convinced our local Leps in hood to let bygones be bygones and offer amnesty on all questionably acquired leprechaun gold.  So what are you waiting for?  Trade in the gold cache for cold hard cash today. No question asked.

A Topicle Artical

Testical torsion is no practicle joke. Call today for a clinicle screening and we'll throw in a free rectle exam . 

Just you and me and your dog

Crust Punk Crossing

"One Saturday I took a walk to Liberty Place

I saw a girl there

With such a pretty face

Crust punk girl please look at me

Crust punk girl what do you see?

Let's travel round the world

Just you and me and your dog crust punk girl"

                                                         

Now officially more dependable than the United States Post Office; the crust punks of Grays Ferry can be seen 7 days a week in all types of weather.  Faithfully standing guard with hands outstretched asking you for money during your daily commute.  Some welcome these drifters with dollars and donuts; eager to hear stories of their freight train adventures.  Others wonder why these perfectly able citizens do not get jobs and theorize on how they afford their fancy tattoos and piercings.

No matter your opinion, we here at Gorilla Upskirts have made sure that all commuters will now be adequately warned when arriving at a designated Crust Punk Crossing area.  So either roll up them windows and lock those doors, or dig out a dollar and a dog biscuit.

Yoni channeling his inner crust.

Finally Huggie had the pleasure of being interviewed by the Activist, Writer and overall righteous dude Yoni.  Check out the story at www.souciant.com

All your house are belong to us

In A.D. 2007
Chaos was beginning.

Captain: What happen?
Mechanic: Politics set up us the bomb.
Operator: We get signal.
Captain: What !
Operator: Main screen turn on.
Captain: It's You !!
Banks: How are you gentlemen !!
Banks: All your house are belong to us.
Banks: You are on the way to destruction.
Captain: What you say !!
Banks: You have no chance to survive make your time.
Banks: HA HA HA HA ….
True Story

Your Doomsday Bunker or Mayan?

World didn't end?
Stuck with an unsighlty Apocalypse shelter in your backyard?
Is that Doomsday bunker taking up too much space in your cramped basement?

          WE BUY UGLY BUNKERS!

Mistakes happen.  We all make them.  But don't be wrong twice.    Recoup some of the precious funds you spent prepping for a false Armageddon by selling your shelter.  For a limited time only we are buying all unused Doomsday bunkers and fallout shelters.  Act fast because just like the Mayans, this deal will not last long!

  

              

Can't teach an old bird new tricks

It is hard to believe that a year has passed since I posted my first "Dream Team" flyer.  Sadly time has not been kind to us. Our beloved Philadelphia Eagles are even worse off than they were last year.   We at Gorilla Upskirts believe it is time to say goodbye to our dear friend Andy.

A once exciting coach with new plays has blossomed into a stubborn stache with a playbook that a Pops Warner coach could guess.  One could argue that over the last few years and possibly even longer; the Eagles did not win because of Andy Reid's coaching, they won in spite of his coaching.  

All I want for Christmas is (not) you!

Happy Holidays