Disillusioned In Three Dimensions

Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost

Seriously dudes.  I need to watch Captain Eo!

Hungry Hungry Hipsters

Mobile Hipsters.  We bring the new to you.

Had a couple cancelations the night of your party?  Spice up the guest list with Mobile Hipsters.  Need a Bar Mitzvah date?  Mobile Hipsters love Bar Mitzvahs.  None of your friends know how to ride fixies? Mobile Hipsters do.  Card night with grandma?  We are so in.   For all your hipster needs contact Mobile Hipster today.  We are hipsters.  And we are mobile.  What's not to get?  Bartering accepted.

Shameless Self Promotion

I want to thank the good people over at NPR (WHYY) and Naked Philly for thinking that I am interesting enough to fill the airwaves and internet with my smooth voice and jaunty looks.  Or maybe it was just a really slow news season?  Either way, I feel very fortunate to have been able to share my work and words with some great people.

Please enjoy the links:

Whyy/NPR

Picture taken from Emma Lee/NewsWorks

Naked Philly

We do do dat Voodoo

The charm of big city living sometime runs dry. Madame Huggie can help!

 Do your neighbors keep you up blasting cumbias till dawn?  Does Mrs. Ruth's "darling angel" terrorize your block with his ATV gang?  Is neighbor Scoops leaving puppy poops on your stoop?

You've tried the police and you've tried being polite.  Shoot, you might have lost your temper and gave them nuisance neighbors a piece of your mind.  But if you really want to drive away the neighbors for good, contact Madame Huggie's Hexing Service.  For the low-low price of your first born child, we guarantee a supernatural eviction and peace of mind for you and your entire family. Well…almost your entire family.

Call today, before someone calls Madame Huggie on you!

The Fracks of LIfe

Fractals in Nature?

Headed up north to God's Country for father's day weekend.  Came prepared with some gorilla upskirt goodness.  Harvesting this natural gas is guaranteed not to contaminate the water.  Can't say the same thing for the air though.

Causality

I have a lot of ideas.  Most bad.  Some good.  Every bandit sign I see think of how I can change it.  Too much of my  time is spent concocting fake lost or wanted flyers to plaster the neighborhood.  Most of the ideas never come to fruition.  They are either too weird, abstract, or offensive.

This one fits the last description.  I had serious worries that if I puts this up an army of Mommies in baby bjorns would chase me down with pitchforks and torches.  So I never posted outside. Just online for my 5 fans to enjoy. So…enjoy.

Not Loving It?

That's a lie.  I believe I could eat a 250 piece nugget all by myself.  They are like dog treats for humans.

Junk. Me Encanta.  

The GoodFeathers

Thunder Thunder ThunderBird!

The Thunderbird was once thought to be a mythical creature contained only in the legends and stories of Native Americans.  Miraculously sightings of these majestic creatures have been reported in cities all across the Americas.  Although indigenous to North America, some claim to have spotted these giant fowls  as far away as Europe.  

Acclaimed ornithologist and big bird advocate Gaia had dedicated his life to tracking down these critters.  Too modest to ask for help in his quest to protect the Thunderbird, Gorillaupskirts has stepped in to ensure the safety of our feathered friends in Philly.